Jayfeather's Christmas present
by splinterclaw
Summary: Jayfeather hates everything about Christmas and it does not help that he has to spend it being alone. Jayfeather is feeling especially miserable when suddenly he receives a gift that changes everything. This is my fist fanfic so tell me what you think. This is not a humanized warriors story.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own warriors. **

Jayfeather despised Christmas with every bone in his body. Everything about Christmas was unrealistically cheerful and all of Jayfeathers cheerful relatives were no help, they always got him gifts that he could not even use, like the time Hollyleaf had bought Jayfeather a tablet. And all the other cats celebrated with their friends, mates, and kits. All the while being forbidden to have a mate Jayfeather had no understanding partner to spend his Christmas with.

"Why should everyone get to enjoy happiness and peace when I have to sit around all day waiting to die so I can see Half Moon" Jayfeather growled as he paced around the den flicking his tail irritably. He had not left his den ever since Lionblaze had thought it would be a great idea to get his kits Holypaw, Fernpaw, and Sorrelpaw to start caroling rite by the fresh kill pile, Jayfeather had stayed in his nest with his Bazooka at the ready in case the high pitched apprentices got anywhere close to him. He had taken to pacing eventually out of sheer boredom.

Leafpool's scent came to Jayfeather as she pushed through the bramble screen holding a small box.

"What do you want" Jayfeather growled as looked at her sharply with his sightless blue eyes.

"No need to be so unfriendly I was just bringing you your present" Leafpool snapped sounding annoyed.

"Oh I'm sorry but do you remember what I said about Christmas?" Jayfreather asked.

"How could I forget?" Leafpool sighed "you keep telling everyone that Christmas is over-rated."

"Exactly, it is nothing but a complete pile of bullshi-"

"Language" Leafpool shouted, stopping jayfeather before he could finish what he was saying "you do not want to set a bad example for the young apprentices and kits of the clan". And with that the amber eyed medicine cat through the small box at Jayfeather and stalked out of the medicine den.

After Leafpool was gone Jayfeather picked up the small box and sniffed it skeptically. He had learned to be extremely careful around presents after last Christmas when Bramblestar meaning to help had bought Jayfeather a trained service dog. Jayfeather flinched at the memory of being soaked by the big slobbery tong of the dog. As Jayfeather carefully unwrapped the present he prayed to Starclan that it would not explode or do anything unexpected. As he opend the box he quickly through it across the den, but nothing happed. Jayfeather slowly crept forward towards the box. When he reached it he nudged it lightly with his forepaw, nothing happened. He quickly picked up the box and sniffed the contents inside, it did not smell like anything he had ever smelt before. As jayfeather picked up the object in his paw he recognized what it was from a dream in the dark forest, the round smooth object was a grenade.

Jayfeather padded out of the medicine den grinning wickedly. He was in a much better mood now that Leafpool had given him a way to silence those annoying carolers.

The end

**Merry Christmas everyone this is my first fanfic I hope you enjoyed it. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the positive feedback. **

Jayfeather padded over to the carolers twitching his tale and barley suppressing a sadistic smile. "Hi" he greeted Lionblaze's kits who were all wearing green elf hats with bells on them.

"Hi Jayfeather!" Hollypaw squeaked shrilly.

"Would you like to see a magic trick" Jayfeather hissed through gritted teeth as he cringed at her shrill voice.

"Yes!" Hollypaw, Fernpaw, and sorrelpaw all shrieked excitedly in unison.

Jayfeather gripped the grenade behind his back tightly as he looked around to make sure no one was watching, and then he beckoned the three Apprentices closer with a flick of his tail and pulled out the grenade from behind his back. The three over exited apprentices were now bouncing around at the thought of "uncle Jayfeather" showing them a magic trick.

"Right, every one close your eye and turn around to face the other direction." Jayfeather said in a commanding voice. As the apprentices obeyed Jayfeather gathered all the presents from under the neatly decorated Christmas tree in the middle of the clearing and proceeded to stack them in a neat pile a few fox-lengths from the three apprentices.

"Now open your eyes" Jayfeather said in a overly cheerful voice when he was finished stacking the presents.

The Three apprentices Whipped around barley containing there excitement.

"Ready?" jayfeather asked comely.

"Ready!" they all cheered.

"Now watch closely" jayfeather said as he quickly pulled out the pin on the grenade and tossed it at the pile of colourfully rapped presents. With an explosion that could have been heard all the way from the Shadowclan camp all the presents were completely obliterated.

Cats came pouring out of the warriors den yowling in confusion as the Three apprentices just stood there in shock as they stared at what was left of their presents. Amongst all the chaos Jayfeather padded comely back to his den and sat in his nest listening happily to all the confused yowls "Now that is what I call peaceful!" Jayfeather said cheerfully with a wicked grin "and merry Christmas everyone!"

XXX

Bramblestar woke from his sleep at the sound of the loud bang and rushed out of his den to see all his warriors running around franticly.

"What in Starclans name is going on" Bramblestar yowled from the top of the high ledge.

Everyone fell silent. Bramblestar looked around the hallow observing the situation before him. Lionblaze and Cinderheart were consoling there kits who were sobbing for some reason.

"Well Brablestar demanded.

Everyone looked at each other in confusion.

"Jayfeather blew up the all of the Christmas presents" Hollypaw spoke up from near the apprentice den wear Lionblaze was consoling her.

"Jayfeather!" Bramblestar yowled with rage.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews. **

Jayfeather heard Bramblestar yowl his name and he purred evilly and padded slowly out of the medicine den into the clearing. Bramblestar was sitting on high ledge with his tail wrapped around his paws doing his best not to leap off the high ledge and claw Jayfeather's ears off.

"Problem?" Jayfeather mewed lazily.

"Sometimes I don't know what to do about you" Bramblestar said trying to contain his anger.

"What did I do" Jayfeather said looking innocent.

"Don't even pretend that you don't know what you did!" Brablestar growled.

"Alright I won't" Jayfeather said simply.

"So why did you do it" Brablestar growled barley managing to keep his composure.

"Leafpool gave it to me and I thought it would be an excellent way to spread the Christmas cheer" Jayfeather said, grinning evilly.

"Leafpool?" Bramblestar growled turning to Jayfeather's mother.

"What? Don't look at me I didn't know what was in the box. It was a gift from Squirrelflight that I never opened!" Leafpool exclaimed.

"Thanks a lot!" Squirrelflight meowed sarcastically from nearby.

As Squirrelflight and Leafpool started bickering loudly Bramblestar had a brilliant idea 'I'll just send Jayfeather to Windclan so we don't have to put up with him.'

"Jayfeather I wan't you to go spend the rest of the Christmas season in Windclan I wish I could say for ever but sadly I can't, you're a valuable medicine cat."

"I'll take that as a compliment" Jayfeather said as he padded back to his den to grab a few "necessities" before he headed off to Windclan.

Jayfeather padded into the medicine den and tripped over Briarlight and landed on his face "Foxdung Briarlight do you always have to leave yourself lying in my path" he hissed at the crippled she cat as he scrambled to his paws.

"Maybe you can try being more careful in the future!" Briarlight spat.

Jayfeather simply grunted and padded to the back of the den and ducked into the herb store. Feeling around he found what he was looking for, he smiled as he pulled out his trusty bazooka. Reaching in again he pulled out a trench coat, the sleeve hooked on his claw. He proceeded to put on the trench coat and sling the bazooka over his shoulder.

Jayfeather padded through the thorn tunnel and looking with his blind eyes over his shoulder at the clan he yowled "have a horrible Christmas while I'm away."

When Jayfeather reached the Windclan border he stopped and waited on the Thunderclan side for a patrol to come. Before too long a Windclan border patrol showed up.

"Hail Warriors of Rabbitclan" Jayfeather yowled to get their attention.

The Windclan warriors stalked up to Jayfeather, he only scented to cats Owlwhisker, and Nightcloud.

"It's Windclan not Rabbitclan" Owlwhisker hissed, his pelt bristling with annoyance.

"Whatever" Jayfeather replied comely "may you take me to Rabbitstar?" Jayfeather asked.

"Yes" Owlwhisker said stiffly "and you will address our leader as Onestar."

"I'll try to remember to do that Jayfeather said mockingly with an evil grin than made the Windclan warriors shudder.

Jayfeather was deep in thought scheming of all the ways he could prank his half-brother Breezepelt as he was lead to the Windclan camp.


	4. Chapter 4

**The positive feedback is awesome, thanks.**

Breezepelt was really bored, all there was to do was sit around drinking hard liquor and hate his Thunderclan half siblings. It was also an extremely cold day on the moorland so Breezepelt curled up tightly in his nest trying to fight off the cold. Finding that he could not get any sleep Breezepelt heaved himself out of his nest, padding out of the Warriors den Breezepelt fluffed up his pelt shivering at the cold as he skulked silently over to a patch of heather, leaning into the heather he carefully flicked some snow and broken heather stocks aside with his forepaw. Breezepelt looked around cautiously to make sure no one was looking then he leaned his head into the heather again and he grasped a small flask in his teeth, he carefully carried it to a secluded area of the camp. Sitting Breezepelt proceeded to unscrew the cap off of the flask, breathing deeply he inhaled the scent of whisky. Breezepelt then tilted the flask back and took a swig. Breezepelt felt his ear tips warm as the burning liquid slid smoothly down his throat. Satisfied he padded through the snow over too his friend Heathertail that was sitting next to a patch of gorse eating a rabbit. Looking up she greeted him cheerfully.

"Merry Christmas Breezepelt I'm glad to see you're out of the warriors den."

Plopping down next to Heathertail he simply grunted.

She suddenly gave Breezepelt a good sniff and she wrinkled her nose. "You've been in the whisky again" she meowed sounding annoyed.

"Only one little swig" Breezepelt exclaimed twitching his tail nervously.

"That stuff isn't even good for you" she hissed angrily snatching the flask from him she then proceeded to empty it out into the snow.

"Hey, I'm just trying to enjoy Christmas cheer in a masculine way, there is nothing wrong with a little whisky, it's like eggnog" he exclaimed.

Heathertail simply rolled her eyes and stalked off leaving Breezepelt alone. He heaved himself to his paws and padded towards the fresh kill pile, selecting a robin he padded back to his spot by the patch of gorse. He started plucking away the feathers with his teeth.

There was voices coming from the camp entrance as the scent of the dawn patrol returning but there also was another scent, it was the scent of Thunderclan. The dawn petrol descended through the entrance into the shallow dip that made the Windclan camp. Then Breezepelt felt sudden dread as he heard an all too familiar sarcastic voice yowl "Merry Christmas cats of Rabbitclan."


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for taking such a long time to update. **

"Merry Christmas cats of Rabbitclan Jayfeather yowled as he padded close behind Owlwhisker and Nightcloud into the Windclan camp. All the cats stopped and stared at Jayfeather while Nightcloud shot him a look that could have killed scourge and hissed "it's Windclan you piece of fox dung."

"Whatever." Jayfeather meowed dismissively.

Onestar padded up looking confused and dipped his head "greetings Jayfeather is everything ok in Thunderclan."

"No" Jayfeather said trying not to grin evilly.

"What happened" Onestar asked looking concerned.

"I happened" Jayfeather yowled breaking into maniacal fits of laughter. All the cats took a step back.

"Oh" Onestar said, still looking confused and slightly fearful.

"Bramblestar sent me to spend the rest of the Christmas season with your clan. Bramblestar couldn't handle my way of celebrating."

"Please send him back" Jayfeather herd Breezepelt pleed desperately.

"No, we must show good hospitality" Onestar hissed at Breezepelt.

"Now you can put your ummm… gear in the medicine den if you wish" Onestar meowed glancing at Jayfeather's bazooka.

"Thank you" Jayfeather meowed forcing himself to be polite. He padded towards the medicine den and stopped by the entrance sniffing the air to make sure no one was inside. Satisfied that Kestrelflight was elsewhere he padded in through the entrance. Jayfeather padded to the back of the den, he set the bazooka down neatly. Jayfeather padded out through the entrance of the den looking around the camp for a particular black tom. Then he saw him sitting by a small patch of gorse. Jayfeather padded across the camp and stopped in front of the black tom. "Hey ya ugly mofo" Jayfeather said rudely.

"Please leave me alone" Breezepelt Growled trying to resist the urge to wipe the smirk off of Jayfeather's face.

"No need to be so rude I just came to wish you a horrible Christmas." Jayfeather said looking hurt.

"Whatever" Breeze pelt said as he stood up and padded away. Jayfeather grinned evilly as he watched Breezepelt pad away, Jayfeather could tell already that ruining his Christmas was going to be very fun. At that moment Kestrelflight padded into camp carrying a bundle of who-knows-what in his jaws. As soon as he saw Jayfeather he dashed over nearly nocking Jayfeather off his paws. "Merry Christmas Jayfeather" he said excitedly.

"Bah humbug" Jayfeather growled padding off after Breezepelt. Kestrelflight followed close behind Jayfeather, unfazed by his rudeness.

"So what brings you to Windclan on such a cold day" Kestrelflight enquired.

"To spread Christmas cheer" Jayfeather meowed innocently.

"Wow can I help" Kestrelflight asked bouncing up and down with excitement.

"No" Jayfeather said bluntly.

"Why" Kestrelflight asked dejectedly.

"Because I'm doing it in a way to complicated for you to wrap your innocent little kitty mind around."

"Oh" Kestrelflight said obviously confused as Jayfeather padded off.

XXX

Jayfeather sat at the edge of the Windclan camp thinking longingly about a particular beautiful white she cat and what it would be like if she was there. They would sit together pelts touching feeling the warmth of each other's presence, they would share tongues, they would sit in piece, lost in the moment were none of their worries could reach them and for a moment, just for a small moment Jayfeather felt only sad, no other emotion not malice nor anger entered his mind.


End file.
